Late Kim Soo-mi’s final diary revealed “My pronunciation is off, and my hands shake when I eat”
In the March 25th episode of TV Chosun’s “With Father and Me“, actress Seo Hyo-rim and her husband Jung Myung-ho remembered the late Kim Soo-mi, who passed away 5 months ago.
Seo Hyo-rim appeared visibly thinner. She shared, “It feels like I’ve crossed the line where something is just ‘difficult’. It was so sudden that I couldn’t even feel the pain. Even now, I can’t believe she’s gone. I think I live every day full of regrets.”
Tearing up, she continued, “I thought this was just something our family had to go through, but seeing how everyone mourned her made me realize how great a person she was.”
At Kim Soo-mi’s funeral, Seo Hyo-rim was seen sobbing uncontrollably. She recalled, “It wasn’t just because I was her daughter-in-law it felt like losing a dear friend. She and I were close like friends even before she became my mother-in-law. As a senior in life and acting, she was someone I could talk to and lean on. Sometimes I’d cry while eating or tear up when I heard a song she liked. Not knowing when the tears would come, I had to keep myself busy.”
Her husband Jung Myung-ho, Kim Soo-mi’s son, quietly handled the funeral. He said, “I thought Hyo-rim would be more heartbroken than me, so I tried to stay composed. After the funeral, I sat at home, and tears started falling uncontrollably. It was the first time I cried like that. I don’t even know if I’m enduring or just barely hanging on.”
Jung Myung-ho recalled the day Kim Soo-mi passed away, “My dad called early in the morning and said mom seemed off and told me to come quickly. When I got there, she was collapsed next to her bed. The moment I lifted her onto the bed, I felt how cold her body was. We called 119. They said it was likely cardiac arrest.”
Seo Hyo-rim confessed, “I think she was carrying a heavy burden. She was under a lot of stress. I wasn’t the best daughter-in-law. I regret not doing more for her.”
The couple began sorting through Kim Soo-mi’s belongings. Among her keepsakes were trophies, lottery tickets and bankbooks. The panelists were surprised at the extensive lottery collection, joking it could be displayed in a museum. Seo Hyo-rim revealed, “We actually received a suggestion for that.”
Kim Soo-mi’s personal diary was also revealed for the first time, filled with writings about her son Jung Myung-ho. Seo Hyo-rim said, “Reading her diary changed my life. It made me feel sorry for my husband. So much of the diary was about him. She wrote beautifully.”
Watching clips of his late mother’s acting, Jung Myung-ho was overcome with emotion. He confessed, “The sadness is one thing, but there’s so much I regret. I haven’t forgotten her for even a second. I think of her every day. She always said she missed her own mom too. I miss her so much. I just want her to hug me. It’s been really hard lately.”
Seeing this, Seo Hyo-rim shared, “That was the first time I saw him cry since we got married. He sobbed out loud for the first time on the day of the funeral. When I asked how he held it in, he said he was the eldest son if he broke down, everyone else might collapse too.”
The couple made braised kimchi using Kim Soo-mi’s last homemade kimchi and shared a meal with Kim Soo-mi’s close friend Kim Young-ok. Seo Hyo-rim said, “I never got the chance to cook for my mother-in-law. She didn’t let me. I felt like I was making up for it by cooking for Kim Young-ok.”
Kim Soo-mi had hidden her diabetes diagnosis. As Kim Young-ok read entries from Kim Soo-mi’s diary, she was overcome with tears. One of Kim Soo-mi’s final diary entries read “I must stop taking my meds, thinking only of my grandson. Lord, please help me. My pronunciation is off, and I spill food and my hands shake when I eat”, revealing her hidden struggles and adding to the sorrow.